I'm in real trance now. Don't know what I'm doing and what I'm suppose to. Acting all cool and calm is the usual me. But when I tried to be friendly and kind to strangers or people whom I not much care about.

It some how disgust me. Weird.

"Is it really me?"

Split personality?

"Somehow i feel that my laughter and smile are all artificial. Fake."

I can't feel myself.

*************************************************************

"Don't you feel alone when they are not with you for lunch?"

"Nia, it's pretty ok."

BIG liar. Cos you feel the same when they are with you anyway.

That's the reason I don't hang out with anyone.