I knew all along that I can't be too truthful to anyone.

Kill all emontions.

But that's me. When I have to say. I'LL say it.


However, I still have many "issues" that I refuse to admit to.
In the end, I lied to myself instead.

"Come on. You know you can. You will and you MUST."
These have always been the words that I place in the back of my mind.

As the years passed by. The emptynesss within me seems to be speading. I don't know what I really want. What I really am.

I have always been enduring some problems. Probably, that's why I choos to laze around and not really fufilling my inner desires? You may reply, "But you have done your best." But to me it doesn't really matter. I just feel like I'm lazying around and I have no idea how to deal with it.

Again.

I'm lying to myself again.

Hate is not the word to describe myself now. "Dislike" would be closer.